Hot Tamales and the New World Order

Of Red Pills and Reality Tunnels

To briefly recap the grab bag of conspiratorial grievances that have animated (and united!) folks on the alt Right and the far Left in these past few colorful years…

The Great Awakening is happening.

The scales are falling from our eyes, only to realize that we are being herded into a New World Order of sinister control and loss of freedoms.

Klaus Schwab and the evil billionaires at Davos have smugly proclaimed we will “own nothing and be happy” while getting herded into 15 minute cities (aka urban concentration camps).

All in the name of a fake climate crisis engineered to rob us of our gas guzzling, burger munching freedoms.

We will be monitored with social credit scores (thanks CCP) and social media surveillance and propaganda.

(This is all being architected by a sinister cabal of “global financiers” AKA #thenewjews led by George Soros, BTW).

Bill Gates will inject us with microchips imprinted with the Mark of the Beast. We will be controlled with centralized digital currencies.

They will dull our minds and weaken our bodies with vaccines and fluoride.

We will endure false flag wars and engineered epidemics to cow us into submission.

#rawmilkbirdflu

We will give up our freedom and liberty to the Illuminati elites who worship Baal and practice sex-magick.

#epsteindidntkillhimself

And Sleepy Joe and Kamala Marx were pulling all the strings this whole time!

So better we voted for DJT, RFK and Elon who will defeat the Beast and restore our democracy, preserve our freedoms, and punish the evil perpetraitors.

Phew!

Glad we got that all sorted.

***

Now, you might be suspecting I’m about to embark on a snarky debunking of all the things that can’t possibly be true in that garbled mess of a world view.

Pointing out the retread bits from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, to Cold War John Birch NWO paranoia to Robert Anton Wilson’s prank meta-conspiracy the Illuminatus that touched on everything from the Bavarian Illuminati to JFK assassination to the moon landing (from which QAnon stole most of their riffs, without ever realizing R.A.W. was joking).

As one recent retrospective of Illuminatus reflects on its ongoing relevance

If the lunatics are now truly running the asylum, then [Robert Anton Wilson] has been warning us for a great many years not just of their potential rise, but of how effective their fantasies of persecution would prove to the ruling class.

When every conspiracy is true, anyone is entitled to be a victim. There is little practical difference between cries of “fake news” and the possibility of a lost Nazi battalion hibernating beneath the fictitious Lake Totenkopf.

Paranoia claims no political allegiance, only emotional expediency; if Obama is a secret Muslim, then so much the better to distract from the calamity of a lost job or a shuttered factory or a staggering medical bill.

In the meantime, our leaders continue to bomb the Middle East with automated flying robots and monitor citizens through glossy thousand-dollar mobile phones, and The Illuminatus! Trilogy seems to understand this, even some forty years after its publication. As it turns out, the conspiracy that runs deepest is the one that we can all plainly see.

But I’m not gonna take the piss today.

Today I’m gonna give the extended QAnon/MAGA/MAHA/Conspirituality Crew 100% benefit of the doubt!

Let’s say that we are in fact, hurtling towards a sinister New World Order, techno-dystopian surveillance state where trans-national oligarchs conspire to terrify, manipulate and control us for their sinister aims, and we are robbed of our agency, our consciousness and our civil liberties.

If you accept that general premise, and it informed your decision to cast your Anti-Regime vote against Kamala and for DJT/Elon/RFK…

How do you think that’s gonna turn out?

Because for all of you Red Pilled Truthers, convinced that you’ve unplugged from the Matrix and have been bravely following the white rabbit, doing your own research and preparing for the coming Storm…

I’d humbly submit that you haven’t been Red Pilled at all. Someone slipped you a Hot Tamale instead.

#justsayknow

Because as Robert Anton Wilson so helpfully pointed out, you’ve got to beware of getting trapped in a Reality Tunnel, and mistaking it for Reality itself.

What’s a “Reality Tunnel?” you might ask.

Simply put, a Reality Tunnel is any enclosed, self referential version of awareness that can be mistaken for The Whole Enchilada.

For instance: your whole life you might have chased parental approval, good grades, a respectable job, a mortgage in the right zipcode and the correct cars in your driveway

(AKA the “Suburban Success” Reality Tunnel)

Only to have a midlife crisis, or go to Burning Man (or Peru with Aaron Rodgers) and come back realizing–

“none of that was real! I am worthy of love and don’t need to live a life of compliant conformity. I’m going to start wearing mala beads, overpriced scoop neck t shirts and pajama crotch Aladdin pants while bingeing Sex at Dawn! I’ve seen through all of the illusions of my past life, and am now, free and awakened!”

Not so fast, Bodhi FuckBoi.

Cool your jets, Ratchet Shanti Priestess.

In all of your exuberance and haste, you’ve most likely just swapped your boring beige Reality Tunnel for a new Rainbow Reality Tunnel.

It’s got way cooler features, and can feel like moving from 2D Pac-Man to AR Pokemon Go.

But it’s still a Reality Tunnel.

This accounts for 99% of the Insta-Shamans online these days, and for 99% of the contrarian political analyses on X, Youtube and Telegram.

As soon as they got free from an old illusion they get snookered by the next better one.

This motif of “forgetting our forgetting” shows up in most esoteric traditions, like the Tibetan Bardos (those in between life and death realms you traverse after you snuff it).

In the Bardos, you can get terrified by the scary stuff, or seduced by the groovy stuff, and forget you’re freshly free. But either way, if you forget yourself there and get pulled into a new story, you doom yourself to another lap on the wheel of Death and Rebirth.

Same deal with Phillip K Dick’s Total Recall. Or Tom Cruise’s Vanilla Sky. Or Leo’s Inception. (and no end of poorly written soap operas and college short stories).

The hero thinks they’ve woken up from sleep, only to realize they were still dreaming, all along!!!

That’s where a bunch of self-identifying Red Pillers are right now. Convinced they’ve woken up, but lost in a dream of dreams.

***

Because, as the great philosopher Keyser Soze reminds us

Sidebar: CJ Hopkins, a radical old satirist expat living in Germany got busted during COVID for describing part of this New World Order as “the New Normal Reich”. As you can imagine, the Huns are still a bit tetchy about those kind of references so they threw the book at the fella.

But he’s continued to fight the charges and post some interesting takes on what he calls “Globo-Cap”—i.e Global Capitalism. i.e. Moloch, the Beast, New World Order, etc.

In his recent post-election piece, A Tale of Two Psy-ops he outlines what I think is a crucial gut check for those who believe they’ve woken up and seen through the Matrix.

(it’s worth taking 5 min to read but here’s an extended excerpt in case you’re link shy)

Like the “dream within a dream” notion we just talked about, Hopkins here lays out the idea of a faked battle of a “territory within the territory” of our culture wars and recent presidential election.

The MAGA PSYOP

For example, say you’re a global empire, a supranational global-capitalist empire, and say your opponent is a populist insurgency, a potentially revolutionary mass, that you need to distract from contemplating your supranational, invisible, immaterial nature…

And from the fact that the governments of nation-states are essentially administrative components of this invisible immaterial empire that you are,

and thus it doesn’t really matter to you which political party administers these nation-states or who the leaders of these parties are,

because they can’t really do much damage to you, because all they control are the material territories within the immaterial territory you control, which predetermines the context and the scope of their actions, and the parameters of their imaginations, and …

OK, you probably see where this is going.

Or, I don’t know, maybe you don’t. So let me try to simplify it.

There is no “America” to make great again…

We are living in a global-capitalist empire. One big global-capitalist empire. We have been for the last thirty-something years. All of us. Americans. Canadians. The British. The French. Australians. Germans. Russians. Israelis. Palestinians. Iranians.

All of us…

It makes no difference whether Elon Musk, or Donald Trump, or Macron, or Starmer, or Netanyahu, or Gates, or Bezos, or Soros, or any other political “leader” or powerful figure knows what they are doing. They serve the system, as the system requires, each according to their specific role and scope of action within the system.

Elon Musk did not “save free speech” or “rescue Twitter” from a “Woke Mind Virus.” He purchased a corporation and rebranded its product for new market demographic.

In so doing, he corralled and neutralized most of the conservative populist resistance to the evolution of the global-capitalist system …

Paving the road to The Privatization of Everything!

Verily, it is the dawn of a golden age of “Freedom” ruled by global corporations and beneficent oligarchs!

OK, this time, I do think you see where this is going.

Back to the Main Thread:

So now the dust is settling on these election results (at least until early January), let’s see exactly what we got for losing our minds and selling our souls.

Both Elon and Zuck have bent the knee at Mar-a-Lago and are banking on less regulation of Meta and X. They will be free to tweak their algorithms, sweeten their cookies, prime our newsfeeds and milk our data for all that we’re worth (which, apparently is a few trillion dollars).

As will Bezos and his Amazonian One Click Anaconda.

For a quick crash course in how Surveillance Capitalism has already compromised us, watch Ronan Farrow’s current documentary Surveilled on HBO, or this creepy Wired expose on 200 VIPs cell phones tracked to 10cm accuracy on Epstein’s Island.

And will you look at that! No Bill Gates microchip vaccines or 5G even needed. We signed up for our cell phones ourselves and carry them around in our pockets as our most prized possessions!

Or how about the new Rockbridge Network and their recent post-election conclave in Vegas?

They’re a JD Vance originated, Peter Thiel/Paypal Mafia infested Right Wing uber-donor network gleefully shoving aside the old Koch/Heritage axis that used to play Republican kingmakers…

In favor of a techno-libertarian, massively deregulated, AI supercharged, crypto boosting, Mars-enabled, Starlink connected e/acc dystopia…

And among that Rockbridge list of the Builders of Galt’s Gulch, who else do we find?

Joe Lonsdale, founder (along with Thiel) of the super shady surveillance company Palantir, who have subverted civil rights in LA, NOLA and wherever else there’s billions to be made tracking pre-crime, by selling their services to intelligence agencies and police forces throughout the Western world. Including this new administration with their long list of vendettas.

(Palantir’s motto is gob-smackingly brazen—“protect the Shire!”).

Cuz you know, they’re all Tolkien nerds.

And the “palantirs” are the crystal balls where you can see the future, and you know, Saruman has one. So in order to protect all those sweet little hobbits in the Shire, they figured they’d better sell their wares to Mordor. ASAP.

And their buddy Palmer Lucky (who I randomly shared a glamping tent with at a summer gathering years ago, before he’d sold Occulus Rift to Meta). Palmer’s spun up a new AI weaponized drone company, called Anduril.

(Another LOTR riff, natch’ cuz these nerds be gangsta)

Go figure.

Plus this last month sniper drones mowing down innocents and medics in Gaza, and former Google CEO Eric Schmidt spinning up AI drone swarms with his Project White Stork.

We’ve already entered the Terminator/Blade Runner era of inhuman and inhumane robot warfare, and there’s literally no going back.

(and the majority of these companies are US, Israeli, Iranian, and Chinese, so not a Kamala brat in the pack).

All of this in cahoots with the first politically appointed director of the FBI since J. Edgar Hoover. They used to serve ten year terms to prevent politicization. Trump’s firing the old guy and installing Kash Patel–a bootlicking careerist who is more than willing to weaponize our national police force and turn it against our own citizens in favor of his own boss.

(not “us” of course. We’re the good guys.)

With RFK and Dr. Oz at the helm, we are unlikely to stop the pending Bird Flu outbreak if it continues to mutate because any efforts to coordinate national or international responses to epidemics are thoroughly shot at this point.

And if monkey pox or any other natural (or unnatural) bug gets traction, we will defiantly rip off our masks, refuse quarantines and vaccines, and take ‘em all on the motherfucking chins because…Braveheart?

#QShamanworeitbetter

Our odds of another biological outbreak are non zero. Our odds of handling it better than last time are near zero.

As far as the panopticon dystopia of the New World Order that so many Red Pill Patriots are freaked about…we are already descending into an AI slop, internet scraped recursive mush of digital narcissism, epistemic collapse, and virtual autism.

Add meta verses, deep fakes, brain implants, cyberporn and Artificial General Intelligence (all deregulated and left to roam free in what’s left of the free market) led by the Silicon Valley tech titans who pivoted to Trump, and our kids won’t know what hit them.

And we won’t know where to find them.

Inflation from insane tariff wars, collapse of the dollar as global reserve currency, gold bars selling out at Costco, and meme coin/Departments of Government Efficiency (so, so cool) mean our piggybanks will all be busted and we’ll be scrambling for those crypto wallets.

But yeah, eggs did cost too much last year. So guess we showed them.

As for the Dems being the War Party and Trump being the Peacemaker Deal Artist…

Putin isn’t stopping his “staggeringly reckless” sabotage of Europe (as MI6 reported this week) and Trump’s in his nutsack’s back pocket. The Baltic and Nordic states are prepping their citizens for kinetic war as we speak.

Xi’s CCP’s just getting started annexing as much of Asia as they can (the Belt and Road Initiative feels like a noose—just ask Pakistan who’s so upside down on its energy loans that citizens can’t afford lightbulbs).

ISIS (and its latest mutations) are spinning up again in Syria where Assad is on the ropes cuz Iran and Russia are, um, predisposed.

The entire Korean peninsula is teetering on a war footing (with N. Korean troops in Ukraine and S. Korea in martial law/impeachment chaos)

Sub Saharan Africa is already carved up between the Wagner Group (that Putin now controls after blowing its leader out of the sky last year), the Gulf States and China.

Biden’s visit to Angola this week was years too late, and billions short of shifting access to Congo’s cobalt mines and essential renewable minerals.

Trump’s grand political theory to manage all this (akin to the Monroe Doctrine, or Roosevelt’s Big Stick Policy), is “fuck ‘em, ‘Merica first, let God sort ‘em out.”

So for all of this multi-variable, decades-in-the-making geopolitical instability, DJT will upend alliances and leave power vacuums in his wake. The strongmen know this, and are already making moves. And it’s likely to get much worse, really quickly.

While many Tucker/Twitter/MAGA folks honestly buy into the “NATO made him do it” storyline about Putin and think we should just let him have his Greater Rus cuz he hates the snowflakes and the gays too. (Plus, we asked him, and he swore he didn’t do any of those nasty things).

Meanwhile, the largest non-state paramilitary on the planet is controlled by MAGA billionaire Erik Prince (founder of Blackwater, brother to Tump Ed Sec Betsy deVos) and he’s just itching to uncork his arsenal and mercs anywhere he can.

(For a fee, of course).

Take a minute, that was a lot.

(I would’ve made more deliberate and detailed arguments for each of those points but then we woulda been here all day. At least check the hyperlinks for more reading if interested).

We’re almost done, and you’ve done great!

But now, for the absolute cherry on top…

What about all those sex crazed Illuminati–the cabal of uber elites pulling all the string behind all the strings?

You know, the ones that get the QAnon crew frothing, convinced that DJT is going to smoke ‘em out of their lairs?

The sinister fuckers donning robes on Epstein island, chanting rites in his freaky gold domed temple, and conjuring evil spirits from the virginal suffering of their young victims?

A couple weeks before the election, Michael Wolff, the chronicler of the first Trump administration, admitted in an interview that he had over one hundred hours of tape with Epstein.

From the Yale Review (worth reading this piece in full)

Epstein, in fact, told Wolff that he had been “Donald’s closest friend for ten years” before the friendship fell apart after a fight over a property in Palm Beach. And Wolff recorded what he said was around one hundred hours of conversation with Epstein, which included discussions about “his long-standing, deep relationship” with Trump, as well as the “inner workings of the Trump White House,” to which Epstein, somewhat mysteriously, seemed privy.

Combine this with Trump’s known associations (and convictions), paying for sex with porn stars and Playboy bunnies, the multiple photos with Melania and Epstein, etc, and it’s as unlikely that Trump abstained from Epstein’s candy store as it is that Clinton did.

And for anyone who’s been dipping back into the ol’ Randy Andy shows on Amazon and Netflix right now, about that comically disastrous BBC interview that Prince Andrew conducted…

(watch the Python skit, the noble Duke of York absolutely crushes his competition)

you might have blinked and missed that Virginia Giuffre, the prince’s alleged rape victim, had been introduced to Epstein, while working next door for his buddy at Mar a Lago!

Now, correlation isn’t molestation.

But it does rhyme.

The cognitive dissonance of this pre-election October Surprise for the QAnon set was apparently too much.

Despite pushing the sex trafficking “documentary” Sound of Freedom to $100M box office success, the #savethechildren sect could not reconcile that their White Orange Savior was in on the bit, (or dipping his bits) all along.

When confronted by the seemingly suspicious timing of his Epstein document dump , Wolff explained he’d tried to get them published much sooner, but got repeatedly shut down by The Powers That Be.

There was a deal with a studio to do a miniseries on this, with a fair amount of money involved. As I recall, it was going to be a six-part series with one hour-long episode entirely about Epstein and Trump.

So I wrote a pilot script, and everybody liked the pilot, and then it [became] kind of a hot potato, of people essentially saying, “How did we get here? Who thought this was a good idea?”

I also gave considerable thought to writing a book about Epstein. And even with that, I was absolutely discouraged. Even from publishers who probably would have done what I wanted them to do, I heard, “Please don’t do this. This is not going to be good for you.”

So how’s them poisoned apples?

To recap: if you’ve been a part of the Great Awakening over the last few years, if you think that the Wuhan lab leaked an engineered virus, if you seriously doubt that Epstein hung himself and that the world might really be run by sex-crazed demon elites, if you’re freaked about a surveillance state listening in on your life, or that nothing in our media is honest or true, or that we’re heading into a Skynet World War III, where rebels huddle in doorways as cyborgs hunt us from the skies, you’re probably not wrong.

About any of it.

But to think that Klaus Schwab, Bill Gates, George Soros, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were the sole (or only) bigtime baddies, and now we’ve ushered in an era of Freedom and Justice, led by Elon, Donald and Bobbie?

We’re going to get all of the things you were most terrified of, even faster.

In fact, they’re already here.

Stop sucking on your “Red Pills” and have an honest look around.

Or if that’s all too much, at least have a Mike and Ike.

I’ve heard those Rainbow Flavored Reality Tunnels taste even better.